Attending an old people’s party is not usually my style, but it actually changed my perspective regarding love and relationships. I found myself a wallflower until an old retired man asked me to dance.

I’m not too big on dancing, but he told me I’ll do just fine if I follow him. During this time, we had a small conversation regarding relationships.

“Are you married?”

“Oh no, sir. I am attending on behalf of my grandmother.” Grandmum was sick and I was a proxy for my grandfather.

“I see. In a relationship?”

“Not really, just came from a breakup.”

This probably explains the earlier posts in this blog I have for relationships, aside from other ad-related posts you could see in this blog.

Then he told me the best thing I’ve heard my entire life.

“Well you know child, maybe you’re just thinking of all the fights you’ve been with your partner. But have you counted the times you’ve made up with him?”

I actually danced and stared for long. My boyfriend and I had frequently fought with each other, but we always came back to each other, asking for forgiveness, forgiving and improving. When the hurt starts to rise, we back away from each other, and then learn to forgive again. It’s a tiring cycle.

But this man pointed out that it is the number of times we resolved our problems that make up our relationship.

He smiled at me, I thanked him for the dance, and thanked him for giving me a good perspective on dealing with my present situation too.

Valued moments, gestures and conversations are the common causes of couple misunderstandings and arguments. People value different things in a relationship but two people are different from each other based on perspective. As fairy tales and magical relationships do not exist in real life, here are three effective ways to put you and your partner always in the same page.

1. What He and She Wants
During the formative moments before a relationship begins, both sides must observe things which are valuable to him and to her. Unique experiences two people shared together are very important to them. It depends on the personality of one’s partner as to how he or she values the moments during their formative and relationship moments and understanding how much of value this is helps to resolve arguments quickly.

2. Taken for Granted Arguments
Relationships are commonly tales of unsung heroism for two people, and these heroisms are the arguments used in many arguments between the two. In a relationship, make sure to observe all the things you do together, and which ones do you value. From here, you could then see the value put by your partner in doing things for you, as they would see for yours as well.

3. Shoe on the Other Foot
Putting yourself in the situation of your partner is the best way to understand them. As you have gone through severe fights, it would be better to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their feelings. If both parties would do this, it would be easier to bury the axe and talk with each other more openly.

Paying closer attention to the smaller details of your relationship could save you a great deal of trouble on both sides. Even if no one pays attention to these details, it is highly likely you and your partner’s subconscious notices these.

1. Body Language

It is alright to differ in interests, but when both your body languages are different, maybe your partner is not feeling comfortable being with you. Body language for many happy relationships retains a similar theme. Despite a small discrepancy, a very huge postural change, or an appearance of discomfort, is a sign that your partner is having some trouble with you or him or herself.

2. Interacting With Other People

Your partner’s true nature will show in the way they interact with other people, especially those they deem “lower” than themselves. For example, a company janitor may be treated quite unfairly by your partner. In the future, this might indicate that this will be their treatment of you, especially during the times you are powerless.

3. Words

If your partners words are changing, despite your frequent communication, it is a sign that they are growing uncomfortable with your relationship. The kinds of words they use subconsciously signal their trouble with you, with themselves or with the relationship. It is highly important to take note of the way they intonate their words as well.

When couples get into an argument, the more caring partner often thinks about fixing things effectively, but sometimes, this just aggravates the situation. People have different reactions to things that disappoint them. It could be sometimes destructive, especially when they are tired and restless coming from stress. Sometimes, it could be because they have a short temper or they react to such things with crude and brash disappointment.

It does not mean that someone is mad after an argument that things will not be fixed. Relationships are about understanding and accepting people for the way they express themselves, even to the point that it is damaging. It is then that the partners know the way to accept the other’s eccentricities, even if they become mad, or angry about certain things.

If the couple realizes the worth of their relationship, they will stay through the tough times. However, it is also important that each partner realizes their capability to provide for the relationship. It is important to assess one’s limitations and capabilities before they think of ways to fix things. In the end, when you try to fix things using resources beyond your capability, you may end up blaming the other person because it is for them you did those efforts, and not for yourself.

People only want to be loved and appreciated in their own way, and true love is when this is recognised, respected and accepted.

Going from Europe to Southeast Asia will leave a mark on your sleeping cycle. You will want to remain awake especially if you only going on a day trip to your work. Dealing with jetlag is a great head-pain, but if you travel consistently, you will need to cope with it effectively.

1. Natural Sleeping Pills
Normally, with a long flight, you could induce sleep inside the plane. This is most effective when you are landing when it is morning in the country. Only use natural sleeping pills that have been tested and proven to have no dangerous side effects.

2. Stressing Yourself Out
If you do not want pills, you could choose to work yourself until you get tired and stressed. You may be irritable, but you will fall asleep as soon as you get yourself on the plane seat and wake up on the other side of the world.

3. Change your Sleep Cycle
If you had taken more time off from work, or you have a few days off before your flight, you could change your sleep cycle for one or two days to adapt to the time zone of the country you are landing in.

4. Avoid Alcohol
Fatty food, heavy dinners, and alcohol will make you sleepy, but they will not assure that you have a good sleep while you are in flight. Always stay hydrated, or else you will feel the pangs of jetlag thereafter.

Payment protection insurance is the UK’s biggest financial scandal to date with millions of consumers claiming their refund for an insurance policy they have no use for. The UK consumers had passed a great hurdle when the Financial Services Authority, now the Financial Conduct Authority, had won a legal challenge against banks in providing consumer refunds for payment protection insurance. Today, consumers still have a great challenge to reclaim their PPI refunds completely.

1. Alternative Redress
UK local media had discovered that banks had exploited a regulatory provision called “alternative redress” to assume consumers purchased a regular-premium PPI because they are complaining about a single-premium PPI. This effectively reduces any single-premium PPI refund to that of a regular premium PPI. Barclays was using it from October 2012-2013. Lloyds used it since February 2013 and RBS since January 2013.

2. Rogue PPI Claims Companies
While trustworthy and effective PPI claims managers such as exist and they had effectively helped consumers, rogue PPI claims companies still exist. These charge you upfront fees and do not even deliver the results you intended. Even if the MOJ had revoked hundreds of claims management licenses, some of them still exist, so beware.

3. Which News to Believe
According to the Financial Conduct Authority, PPI claims and other financial complaints in general had been reduced by 15%. However, the FSCS reveals that PPI has not yet reached its peak and it will not do so even in three years. This means that the volume of PPI may fluctuate, which may also be a hint as to how long your insurance repayments may be processed.

At one point in your relationship, you and your partner may become distant from each other. You may greet each other sweet good mornings, yet your daily activities do not coincide. Some couples try to cope up with text messaging and modern forms of communications, but it just is not enough to compensate for your togetherness. As a result, some relationships break because they grow impartial to each other.

In every relationship are two individuals who are growing together and individually. A fruitful relationship is one where the other person does not make the other feel down or not enough about him or herself. Instead, they uplift each other to grow. The need for space fulfils this room to grow.

Space also allows two individuals to think for themselves objectively about certain situations. This is why people need to stay away from each other for a while after an argument to recollect their thoughts and see their wrongs and apologize for being wrong as they were emotionally troubled during the argument.

Space also allows two individuals to see how much they have grown as a person. It allows them to find the things they need to grow further, and to do away with things that are keeping them down.

It is important that relationships understand the need for personal space. Selfishness can work with or against a relationship, and space is a selfish act that essentially balances things between two people.

I have friends who had been married for 5 years and they said that they know almost anything about each other. However, they still get into a fight especially when the other misunderstands. Misunderstanding is very common in many relationships, but sometimes, partners will not tell you their problem directly. Hints from tones of voices and body languages can honestly tell you what your partner means to say.

1. Stiff Posture
Even though your partner may say that they are fine, but they have a stiff posture or at best, stiffer than usual and they usually look away or look down on the ground, they are not actually fine. People who understand body language and vocal tones make the best partners because their partner does not need to say anything, they can just understand them and give them what they need.

2. Staring Directly At You
When they’re staring at you pensively during an argument, it means that they want to win the argument regardless of anything. You have two choices in this situation; you could either let them win or also make a pensive face against them. A pensive look also means a person’s mind is closed; you’ll notice that most people who try to understand you will either look away or look at you with concern.

3. Weak Response
When you make a suggestion and the other person uses words to agree, yet their response is weak, it is highly probably they do not like your suggestion. Instead, try the opposite of your suggestion and a stronger response ensures agreement, even if they say they feel shy if you’d want to do or undertake such suggestion they earlier had in mind.

A wise friend will definitely tell you to lay off the bachelor or bachelorette’s game after you just had a break up a few weeks or months ago. You do know and feel that you have gotten over your previous relationship just fine and are just looking for something new. However, your friends are right if you want to make your next relationship a long and better one.

Right after a break-up, it is highly likely that one of you would be contacting each other frequently either in social media or through mobile communications. Even if you indeed feel better a few days, weeks or months after your break-up, a short call from your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend could trigger a relapse, which could cost you a new relationship you forged with another person.

Remember, process makes the relationship. If you just enjoy having another person to depend on but cannot depend on you, you are not fit for a relationship because there is no process.

The process is when you begin to realize that you have genuine feelings for the other person’s uniqueness, personality and principle. The process also involves looking at the negative aspects of the other person and accepting it completely without attempting to change the other person.

It is only with these genuine feelings and the repetition of other specific processes, such as courtship, romantic gestures and other things, that you could make a long-term relationship. It will take time to look at another person in such a way, most often more than a few months to a year.

Most sex toys are quite realistic in terms of texture and composition, but unlike its real counterpart, they deteriorate because of improper washing and cleaning substances. Here is a general guide to cleaning sex toys effectively.

1. Clean Right After Use
Before diving into specifics, it is important to note that you should always clean your toys right after using them. Sanitation is important to avoid incurring diseases caused by unhygienic toys and other equipment. Remember, the human reproductive system has orifices prone to the entry of germ and other small life forms.

2. Never Always Use Soap
Soap is an oil-based material. It can clean clothes and the human skin, but not all kinds of toys. Silicone-based toys could clean easily with soap and water. For delicate and special kinds of material for the toys, warm water baths and a few rinses with only water can do wonders.

3. Water Based Lubricants
Oil-based lubricants and other types could be useful during usage of your toys, but water based lubricants are easier to clean right after each activity. Glycerine used in water-based lubricants easily dissolve in water, making them easier to clean and less time consuming to remove on your toys.