OKAY, SO HE CHEATED.

Well, thank God for the Olympics. Aside from providing me with visual images of muscle-bound bodies to lust after, it cut off the legs of the Edwards story. What was it, almost a week of sanctimonious, self-righteous blather about the “tragedy” of it all. Spare me. You wanna talk tragedy, I’ll give you tragedy. The thousands of men and women getting killed and brutally maimed in Iraq for no goddamn reason. The millions losing their jobs, going to bed hungry at night, unable to afford medicine or a visit with a doctor. And this is America, folks, 2008. I could go on, but I won’t. Not now. You get the drift.

My “full disclosure” here: I worked for John Edwards in 2004. Briefly, tangentially, minimally. A few “meet ups,” some discussions, organizational talks, that’s about it. And then Kerry got the nod. And I fell in line. Now I liked Dean more but I knew he couldn’t win. My politics happened to be to the left of, I think, all the candidates at the time. Kucinich was probably closest to where my head and heart lie, but I knew he didn’t stand a chance either, didn’t know how to play the politics game. Not the Presidential kind. Didn’t have the “right stuff” required by the media and the mass electorate. So Edwards was my pick. I liked his “Two Americas” theme, and his occasional soundings of something that actually felt genuine. But that was then. For this last go-round, he still had “my vote,” but he never made it out of the starting gate. I mean, the guy was living in Iowa for a couple of years and still he came in a poor second, just ahead of Hillary. But he stayed on, for a little while. After all, he came out with the first, and best, health care plan, that was copied by Hillary, and then by Obama. And he turned it up this time around, miming a blue-collar squawker, aligning himself with the unions, a regular Norma Rae. And he continued to be, really, the only pol that talked about poverty and the disappearance of the middle class. Yeah, okay, when all was said and done, I liked Elizabeth better. More real, more articulate, more progressive, more feisty. But then, she wasn’t running. Hell, I liked Bill Moyers better. But he wasn’t running either. But I digress.

So, back to a couple of weeks or so ago. EDWARDS ADMITS AFFAIR. EDWARDS TELLS ALL ON NIGHTLINE. EDWARDS DENIES PATERNITY. And so it went. The sturm and drang. A “new age blonde” with an unpronouncable new-name (what is it, again?), nee Lisa Druck. Paid $114,000 for “webisodes” of the real John Edwards; a self-proclaimed filmmaker with no experience, producing videos briefly seen, I believe, on his website. Poor footage of the two of them flirting with each other on a plane. How much more money was involved? When did he tell Elizabeth? Did he tell all? How long did it go on? When did it really stop? Would he take a paternity test? Follow the money, follow the money, the reporters chanted on. She’s hiding out in a multi-million dollar mansion in California. The guy (a former Edwards aide) who claimed paternity — he’s hiding out in his own, different, multi-million dollar mansion. Apparently, Edwards’ former finance chair, a wealthy friend, was footing the bills unbeknownst to his knowledge, so claimed Edwards. Bob Woodruff got the interview. Watch ABC. Pick it apart. See the inconsistencies. The timelines don’t make sense. The talking heads whine and moan and stick their noses in the air. Some say they always knew Edwards was a slimeball. Most wonder if his political life is over; many predict it’s death. Then, there are always the assholes, like Rush Limbaugh, who make disgusting, misogynistic “jokes” at Elizabeth Edwards’ expense. That most heinous creature, the most immoral of moralists, Bill Bennett, pronounces the end of Edwards’ political career.

Look — the National Enquirer scooped the story. It’s editor, on all the network and cable shows, smugly asserts they had it right. Need we say more? The National Enquirer for cryin’ out loud. The hordes of talking heads leap to the fore. Disgraceful. Shameful. The fall from grace. Poor Elizabeth. Hester Prynne lives, I tell ya. Just slap that big ol’ “A” right on John’s forehead. Geeesh! Good ol’ America! Yaknow, ya gotta love this country, but sometimes, just sometimes, I really do feel this sense of national shame. We still have yet to shed our puritan heritage. Makes you wish we were living in a more “civilized” country sometimes, yaknow, like Holland, or, er … France.

No no no … I’m not defending his cheating for chrissakes. It’s sad - how could that not be inferred, how could I not attest to that. The point is, and there is a point here somewhere I’m sure — I just don’t care. Not really. Nope. I do think it’s none of my business. Yeah yeah, the quick retort is, the knee-jerk justification for all the claptrap: but what if he were the nominee? And what if it came out now? What if he were Barack’s vice-presidential nod? And it came out a week after the convention? He would have ruined everything. The Democratic Party would be in shambles. And so on.

But he’s not. And he wasn’t. And why, why is it so easy for so many to point fingers and feel they have a right to invade a family’s privacy? And to make such black-and-white moral pronouncements? And to summarily discount a man’s life and throw up and away an entire career in a fit of moral outrage? Did he cheat on you? Did his putting his pecker outside the marital bonds really have anything to do with his policies? Aren’t there a few more important things to be talking about at this time in history? Yeah, I feel bad for him. And bad for Elizabeth. And the kids. Sad. But I don’t want to know about any of this, really. They got plenty on their plate, as it is. Elizabeth, with her untreatable cancer. Two young kids, one adult child. Lost their son so many years back. And now, just perhaps, John’s got another kid. With “the blonde.” But then, they also have quite a few million dollars to help them deal. They can afford a lot of marriage counseling. No, not making jokes. Not really. It’s just that life is complicated. It’s complicated for them. It’s complicated for all of us. Somehow, though, we’ve reduced American politics to simpledom. There doesn’t seem to be any room for complications. Americans, we’re told, like it simple. Ask Adlai Stevenson. Now, they’re telling Barack to dumb it down. Kerry’s “problem” was nuance, they say. Apparently, we don’t like nuance.

What is it we do with politicians and what is it we’re asking of them? What absurd, impossible “moral” standards have we created? The impeachment of Clinton, for screwing around with an adult intern. Poor judgement? Sure. Incredibly poor judgement. Yeah. But anything at all to do with Leading the Country? My God, I WISH George Bush would’ve screwed around with seventeen interns IF that would’ve lessened, in any, even remote, way, the extraordinary damage he’s done to this country.

Reminds me a little of the anger, the vituperative outrage of those Defending Marriage between a Man and a Woman. I mean, c’mon, really, what is it they’re defending? Is it the 50+% divorce rate? The high percentage of domestic violence? The insidious and overwhelming amount of molestation and sexual assault within “our families”? Should gay marriage in any way threaten that, all the more reason to promote gay marriage. Hallelujah!

But I digress. Again. Ah, the inevitability of such digressions when I choose to ramble on like this at midnight. Although on some other “projects” I might like to edit — my articles here largely go unedited. You’re reading “first drafts” here, my friends; more or less. More fun for me this way. It’s just stream-of-consciousnessness. Hopefully, somewhat conscious at any rate. So I’ll try to somehow loop around back and come to a close here. John and Elizabeth. Good people. My good thoughts go with you both. Be thankful for the Olympics. Take care in the quietude away from the cameras for now. Do what you need to do. Forgive me, forgive us, for talking about you, and all this, when it’s none of our business. Take care.

——————————-

Zach Newman is a writer and political junkie. His “day job”, though, is as an experienced, reliable and trusted Realtor in the Portland area. He is a longtime member of PABA - Portland’s GLBT Chamber of Commerce. Call Zach at 503.287.8989 or visit his website at: http://www.equitygroup.com/zach.

Comments RSS